When I think about 2013, I not only recognize the incredible healings that took place for numerous clients, but I am also deeply grateful for my own healing. In 2013, I finally learned to set healthy boundaries. For my entire life, I felt responsible for other people’s health and happiness. I would tolerate disrespect and I was so guilty of people pleasing. I finally realized that when I am not loving and honoring myself first, I am welcoming the disrespect and the one sided relationships. I realized that by not speaking my truth and following my heart’s desires, I was not only hurting myself, but I was being dishonest with anyone in my life whom I spoke in ways to “please”and avoid conflict. I was always guilty of also caring more about their health and their lives than they did…which of course, never worked out! I would carry guilt for them being so unhappy and unhealthy.
I am proud and very happy to say that I have let it all go! I even ended a life-long connection to someone who suffers greatly within. This person has some good qualities too…but can be very hurtful with words and actions, and very vindictive because of her inner turmoil. Once the trust is gone…you must let go. I still love and care for her, but I am no longer willing to tolerate disrespect.
My husband also helped me to recognize the unhealthy patterns of people pleasing and tolerance I have had with not only this person, but in general.
Fortunately, I have not had to cut ties with anyone else…I have a tonne of amazing people in my life! But I surround myself with people who are genuine, kind and loving. Relationships are about give and take…it is a two way street. And people who disrespect you certainly are fooled by their their illusion concerning your ability to intuit or perceive their phoniness and self-serving behaviours…eventually, you will stop people pleasing and move on. Once you do this, you will be so liberated! It is so worth it! It must be done with compassion, not vengence…just let go.
I even learned to be more liberated with my work. I will work with people, but if they are not willing to make the necassary changes for optimal healing, I know that I am not responsible. I will do my part, but they must be willing to do theirs for best results. I once had a client (with serious cancer) look me in the eyes and say “I ain’t becoming no vegan”…and for once in my life, I did not carry the worry or the responsibility…I simply said “:Then you are responsible for your level of healing”. As much as I want people to heal and be their best selves, I cannot do it for them.
I have bought books for people, I have listened to them complain about their lives, I have witnessed their desperation for acceptance and approval through countless plastic surgeries, the mocking of their own friends behind their backs, the manipulative behaviours and self-destructive habits…I have tried…but unless you are willing to walk with me on this beautiful life path to empowerment, healing and self discovery…I cannot do it for you. However, I am more than honored and thrilled to guide you if you are ready!
Hopefully, you will learn something from this blog…love, honor and respect yourself. Gently set boundaries, speak your truth and live life on your own terms! Life is too short…don’t live a lie and don’t carry guilt or regrets. Honoring your life is a priority…enjoy the journey with those who love and honor you in return. Bless your hearts and souls! Happy 2014!